A Missed Opportunity

On Friday, Andrea and I attended the funeral of Jay Trusley in Oklahoma City.  It was our third trip to OKC in ten days.

Jay was the 24-year-old son of my step-mother, Jana.  Technically, Jay was my step-brother; but we didn’t really have any sort of relationship…  When my dad and Jana married a few years ago, Jana’s two oldest sons were out of the house.  They never really seemed interested in developing any sort of relationship with my siblings.

But I can’t really say that I’ve reached out to them either…  In fact, I don’t think I ever had a real conversation with Jay; just a hello in passing.  And I’m pretty sure that I’ve only seen Jay’s older brother twice – at the wedding and Jay’s funeral.  He lives in New Jersey now, so I’ve got a reasonable excuse.

The funeral was very nice with a lot of flowers and a lot of people.

It was tough one though.  Jay’s death was completely unexpected (and currently unexplained).  Not to mention that parents aren’t supposed to have to bury their children.  Period.  Too bad that God doesn’t follow my rules.

One of the ministers read a lot of thoughts written by friends and family.  I thought it was interesting that he had even set up a Facebook page for friends and family to leave their memories.  Very good use of social networking…

Apparently, Jay was a very funny, larger-than-life kind of guy.  Charismatic.  People just wanted to be around him.  My sister and I discussed after the funeral that we had no idea.  It’s sad that we missed the opportunity.


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